Well it looks like we've finally trapped someone and blackmailed them into becoming the new Irish soccer manager. Giovanni Trapattoni has been lured away from the ahem, high profile coaching job at Red Bull Salzburg. He's well known for his brand of defensive football, which is great seeing as we have such defensive luminaries as John O'Shea and Ian Harte (still listed in Irish squad on www.fai.ie) in our squad. Considering the fact that he doesn't have a whole load of English it's just as well that he's got that whole body language thing sorted out - it might come in handy when his interpreter can't translate whatever language it is Robbie Keane speaks:
Speaking of the FAI website, there's some classic back-slapping and pretty generous write-ups for the squad:
IAN HARTE:
"Ian wil (that's not my mistake) not be 30 until August, 2007, (or is that) but it seems like dead ball expert Ian Harte has been around for ever."
Too right he's been around for ever, and he's been shit forever too.
GARY DOHERTY:
"Gary is a real Mr. Versatile who is equally at home in defence or attack."
Gary is a real Mr. Potato Head who is more at home anywhere that is not a football field.
JOHN O'SHEA:
"Was impressive at centre-back against Wales in UEFA Championship in November, 2007."
Was impressive against a side ranked 58th in the world who only fielded one striker and were playing for pride and nothing else.
KEVIN KILBANE:
"...his honest hard work help make him an invaluable versatile addition to Ireland's team...powered home a header in the away match to San Marino in February 2007."
Less. Said. The. Better.
It's good to know that somebody rates them anyway...
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