National Lampoon's European Vacation II

"Oh good one - down low, too slow...he he he he"

"The naked girl with the guitar???"

"Hey English - where's that guy with the funny teeth?"

Terrorista Pugno Colpo

"Over there, that's Poland."


Europe: Bush's Little Bit on the Side

Mugabe taking piss, making R Kelly judge look good.

Robert Mugabe said today that he won't step down, even if rival Morgan Tsvangirai wins the second-round election. The government rag 'Herald' (apparently just as shite as ours) quoted him as saying:

"We shed a lot of blood for this country. We are not going to give up our country for a mere X on a ballot. How can a ball point pen fight with a gun?"

Mugabe: Making other dictators seem cool for 27 years.

Meanwhile the western world - including Zimbabwe's former colonial owners, Britain - are standing around, tutting at the brazen-ness of Mugabe. British PM and general fucktard Gordon Brown said “(Mugabe’s) criminal cabal ... threatens to make a mockery of free and fair elections in Zimbabwe.” Well done you Gordon, with your tough words and unnerving moral dignity. Even Dubya - the most un-mincing of wordsmiths - had nothing to say: "“The people of Zimbabwe have suffered under the Mugabe leadership and we will work you to ensure this process leads to free and fair elections."

Well I've got something to say too. Leave Ahmadinejad alone, he's a mentalist in the L. Ron Hubbard mode. Leave Kim Jong-Il alone too. He's also a mentalist, but more in the Donald Trump mode. Go after Robert Mugabe - he's a bad man, an easy target and someone who the western world can all agree on is surplus to requirements. Send in Jason Bourne.

5 Years On: Iraq at Peace and Prospering

It was this day 5 years ago that George W. Bush declared that "major combat operations in Iraq have ended" infront of a giant 'Mission Accomplished' banner onboard the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln. Since that memorable day's historic declaration of victory, both peace and progressive democratic insitutions are the order of the day in Iraq instead of a man with a questionable sense of fashion and a penchant for weapons of mass destruction. Let's look at some fun facts in support of the post-war "operations":

• Now in it's sixth year, onlyVietnam, Afghanistan and the Revolutionary War have engaged America for longer periods. If we keep the chins up and the focus focused we will outpass both Vietnam and the Revolutionary War in the next 12 months. Awesome!
• Only 4,061 American soldiers have died - if you compare that with how many people die from smoking in America each year you'll see it's a insignificant number and not really as as important as it's made out to be by headline grabbing, leftist media like the New York Times.
  
• With the recent interest rate cuts from the Fed it's a great time to increase military spending as borrowing is now cheaper than ever.
  
• Iraq is one of the few places on this great earth's surface where you can guarantee year-round sun. Think of all the troublesome teenagers who were sent away to Iraq to learn life skills like submission/anger/tidiness/shoe polishing with the army, all the time while picking up a great tan and learning to fire high powered assault rifles. Would you prefer them to be shooting you instead some potential terrorist?

Think about it. I know Rumsfeld did.