Absolut gobshite

It's incredible how the internets works. In less than five minutes I have gone from looking at a €45 bottle of water to laughing my ass off at the futility of life as an impressionable 13 year old in modern society...

1. Look at twentymajor's blog post about "bling water" being sold in Superquinn.
2. Search "bling water" on google as am wondering how water could cost that much, and what fucktards would buy it.
3. Discover that Paris Hilton was spotted pouring a bottle into her ratdog's bowl. That daft bint should be arrested again for inciting hatred.
4. Discover a new blog and a new word which I will appropriate: "asshat"
5. See a result "Where can i buy Bling water??? also is it alcoh..." and need to see if the suffix "olic" appears on the post as that would make the poster a complete idiot.
6. See that "olic" does in fact appear and laugh uncontrollably for a good 40 seconds. As the poster admits that they're only 13 and think that water is alcoholic I decide that their profile is a must see.
7. Not disappointed! Comedy gold ensues! Discover the selfishness of California lovers and the dichotomy of the iphone:
   
   things i hate: WHEN PEOPLE ARE LIKE " I LOVE CALIFORNIA" BUT NEVER HAVE EVEN BEEN THERE AND THEY TALK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME AND THEIR SCREENAME HAS LIKE CALI IN IT OR SOMETHING!!! SOOOO ANNOYING!!! also i hate iphones i just don't get the point of having a phone and an ipod i personally think they should be separate.
   
   
8. Even more laughter! Dillusional teenie also asks questions about finding an agent, how ebay works and how can she and her 5 bffs become famous. Absolut internets.
   

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Friday Image

Continuing the theme and also raiding b3ta's Image Challenge - these are from their 'Ronseal Plots' series: Imagine a world where movies and books are titled like Ronseal products, with everything turning out exactly as it says on the tin. Then turn it into a lovely picture on the internet.

Friday Image

Maybe this will be a new thing, where I can get around not having anything to say by just posting a potentially funny image on a Friday. This is quality though.
Robbed from b3ta.com without permission and without a care in the world

Priests: Waaaahkiwn Heeaaaa

In an effort to boost numbers of wanabee priests, the St. Joseph's Seminary School in New York has launched a very swishy website called nypriest. Everybody knows that New York is the greatest city/state of mind/Sinatra song/apple/steak cut in the world, so it's no surprise that they're now also home to the coolest priests in the world. Just check out the flash images that scroll across the homepage with the words "THE WORLD NEEDS HEROES"... isn't there something about humility in the bible somewhere?

A tasteful way to interlace 9/11 pride -
"Hey look it's a dead policeman, priests must be fighting the war on terror too"

Anyway that got my mind going:

China says: You don't wanna step to this

According to the Beeb China has announced that from now on the olympic torch relay will go "smoothly". That's possibly the most sinister word you could hear from a country like that. It's far too Stazi/KGB-ish in it's thinly veiled PR wordsmithery.

"Smooth, like a Tibetan who's just been run over by a tank."

Wow

Jaysus hasn't the ould national broadcaster come a long way? They're now doing a carbon-copy micro-site of the BBC's 'BBC Food' website, called uniquely enough'RTE Food'. Its great to see Irish cuisine and culture finally getting all the publicity it deserves, and it can't be long now until our penchant for boiling everything into fluid format catches on across the globe. Boiled meat, boiled greens, boiled potatoes, brown bread and a cup of tea. You can check out some of the recipes here:

It's Getting Bumpy

Superbowl of cereal

Big dail debate on cystic fibrosis following weeks of media uproar - where is Mary Harney? At the superbowl, and that's not on official business either. No fucking wonder we're all dying on trollies.

I've got your Barack brother

Another homoerotic hero has opened his big muscular mouth and put his hat in the "ring" to back a presidential candidate. Following on from Chuck Norris (Huckabee), Sylvester Stallone (McCain) and Arnold Schwarznegger (McCain also), the Hulkster is now backing O'Bama all the way to the White House.

Not since the pro-wrestler and Predator star Jesse Ventura's succesful bid to become Minnesota governor has there been so many anabolics in politics. It almost rhymed, you've to give me that.

The Bertie Supremacy

I'm quite happy with my work.