Please tell everyone you know about this

I'm not kidding. We all knew Sarah Palin was a mentalist, but this is far too weird. Go to Huffington Post to read the accompanying story. Video is about Palin's crazy church who are actively training teenagers to take over the world. I shit you not.

Cellphone anointing.

"To be able to step into the job of the presidency on day one"

Go Campbell Brown of CNN. She absolutely grilled Tucker Bounds (McCain's top spokesman) to the point of dead air. The McCain campaign so pissed off by the interview that they cancelled McCain's appearance on Larry King Live, saying that Brown had "gone over the line". What line? She asked questions, and poked holes in a bullshit arguement. Here's the line crossing:

To recap, here's what we've learned about Palin in the 5 days since we've heard of her:

• Palin is under investigation in a nasty conflict involving her sister, a state trooper, an ugly divorce and the firing of Alaska Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan.

• Alaska State Senate President Lyda Green told the Anchorage Daily News last Saturday that "she's not prepared to be Governor. How can she be prepared to be Vice President or President?"

• Maj. Gen. Craig Campbell, adjutant general of the Alaska National Guard, said he and Palin play no role in national defense activities; and in an interview with Alaska Business Monthly earlier this year she said "I haven't really focused much on the war in Iraq."

• From 2003 to 2005 Sarah served as one of three directors of the "Ted Stevens Excellence in Public Service" lobbying group. In July 2008 the senior Alaska senator was indicted on seven counts of corruption.

• Members of a wierdo Alaskan secessionist party say Palin was a member in the 90s. They want to secede from the union that she and McCain want to lead.
  

• An Alaska State Senator has revealed that the McCain campaign is stalling an investigation of Sarah Palin.

• Palin has lobbyed to have polar bears removed from the endangered species list to make oil drilling in their habitats easier.
  

• Video footage reveals Palin talking to her church congregation about how her policies are "shaped" by God and that we need to pray for succesful completions of oil pipelines.

Well at least shes got the caribou hunting/Alaskan/pro-life/female/skidoo racing vote sewn up.

WTF, McCain FTW?

He's totally pulled a mental rabbit out of the hat here. John McCain has picked 44 year old Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his VP running mate. She's a "reformer" (which doesn't mean anything in the GOP), is younger than Obama, a former beauty queen, and a cynical choice who will undoubtedly help to drag across disenfranchised Hillary fans to the dark side. Hillary fans. How the world could do without them.

"In a moment of seriousness, I've gone and picked a nobody"

Anyway she's not all she's cracked up to be. An opponent of abortion rights, a member of the NRA (and avid hunter no less), and someone who - lets face it - wouldn't have stood a chance of being picked if McCain wasn't so desperate. Or so serious. Plus her kids have worse names than the Romneys: Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig Paxson Van.

Absolut gobshite

It's incredible how the internets works. In less than five minutes I have gone from looking at a €45 bottle of water to laughing my ass off at the futility of life as an impressionable 13 year old in modern society...

1. Look at twentymajor's blog post about "bling water" being sold in Superquinn.
2. Search "bling water" on google as am wondering how water could cost that much, and what fucktards would buy it.
3. Discover that Paris Hilton was spotted pouring a bottle into her ratdog's bowl. That daft bint should be arrested again for inciting hatred.
4. Discover a new blog and a new word which I will appropriate: "asshat"
5. See a result "Where can i buy Bling water??? also is it alcoh..." and need to see if the suffix "olic" appears on the post as that would make the poster a complete idiot.
6. See that "olic" does in fact appear and laugh uncontrollably for a good 40 seconds. As the poster admits that they're only 13 and think that water is alcoholic I decide that their profile is a must see.
7. Not disappointed! Comedy gold ensues! Discover the selfishness of California lovers and the dichotomy of the iphone:
   
   things i hate: WHEN PEOPLE ARE LIKE " I LOVE CALIFORNIA" BUT NEVER HAVE EVEN BEEN THERE AND THEY TALK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME AND THEIR SCREENAME HAS LIKE CALI IN IT OR SOMETHING!!! SOOOO ANNOYING!!! also i hate iphones i just don't get the point of having a phone and an ipod i personally think they should be separate.
   
   
8. Even more laughter! Dillusional teenie also asks questions about finding an agent, how ebay works and how can she and her 5 bffs become famous. Absolut internets.
   

- click the pic -

Pathetic

You have nothing to be smiling about. Shame on you.

GYWO now on videobox

Get Your War On happened to be one of the funniest comic strips of all time (see example 1).


Anyway it's now animated and even funnier over on 236.com. Here's the first episode:

Not only soaked, but dumberer

Finally something to take our mind off the rain - the Leaving Cert results are out today and the most significant statistic is that over 22% of students sitting Maths papers failed. That is not good, especially for penny-counting recessionistas.

I was on holidays, hence the lack of posting. It was not a crisis of confidence as has been suggested. Anyway in the two weeks or so that I've been away a lot has happened in the news:

- The Olympics have started, as has the back slapping of China. Apparently this is still considered a sporting occasion despite the attendance of over 80 world leaders and the rest of the world's refusal to condemn the spending of $40 billion (4 times the 2012 projection) on the event while most of the country's citizens live in abject poverty. However I do fancy a flutter on Ireland getting at least one medal in boxing, and you can't help but be in awe of Michael "I'm running out of events" Phelps.

- The health service or lack thereof is shit. Ok so it's not news but the fact that since 2005 and an input of over €3 billion we have a total of 10 more beds than we used to. There were 283 people on trolleys last Wednesday.

- Vladimir Putin has shown the world that he is not fucking about anymore. Not only has he invaded Georgia, but one of his envoys talked about re-militarizing their Cuban bases. They're not protecting Russians in South Ossetia or Abkhazia, or else they wouldn't be now bombing the capital Tbilisi. Could it be because the only oil pipeline that runs to Europe from central Asia that doesn't traverse Russia is in....oh wait that's got to be coincidental. Surely the fact that Georgia is de-stabilizing the region of former CIS breakaway nations is the driving factor?

- Barack Obama's campaign is suffering from him being too good or something. Apparently people are getting tired of hearing about Obama, and his lead in some polls has closed to within a few points. He'll be alright though, because once the news slows down the Obamamania reporting and gives equal coverage to John McCain they'll realise what a dick he is.

- The rain. I won't go on about it but the double whammy of record breakers on Saturday is pretty impressive: the second wettest day since records began, plus more rain falling in under 24 hours than in a normal whole month of August.

- Lidltreats finished the €50 challenge and passed with flying colours.

- L'Oreal have decided somewhere along the way that Beyonce is too black.

Olympics getting closer as is certain death for misbehaving fans

Lifted directly from the Bejing 2008 website:

Like the Five Olympic Rings from which they draw their color and inspiration, Fuwa will serve as the Official Mascots of Beijing 2008 Olympic Games, carrying a message of friendship and peace -- and good wishes from China -- to children all over the world.


Example 1: "Friendship"

Example 2: "Peace" (yes that is a surface to air missile launcher)

Example 3: "Good Wishes from China"

Segway-riding, armour plated police replete with small guns so they don't fall off their segways. Wasn't this in a comedy?

On a Monday morning too! Disgraceful.

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