I'm going on holidays today, and I fully expect to see a Bertie-less country on my return. High fives all around for Mahon.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Chequemate
I'm going on holidays today, and I fully expect to see a Bertie-less country on my return. High fives all around for Mahon.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Hurling: The Emirati sport of choice
Well if this country and it's institutions don't continue to surprise - the new sponsors for the GAA have been announced, and it's a fairly traditional set of sponsors for the Football Championship: Toyota (make jeeps for farmers), Ulster Bank (to appease the Ulster Branch) and Vodafone (second place after losing the iPhone haha).
However the wacky racers over in the Hurling Championship have nailed Etihad Airways (whodefuck?), Guiness (ah yeah that's grand) and RTE (the national broadcaster of course). Etihad Airways?? How many Hurling fans have business traveling to Damascus, Tehran and Khartoum? None I would venture, sure I heard you can't even drink out there...
Aer Arann would have been the obvious choice, with their regular flights from Waterford to Knock et al.
However the wacky racers over in the Hurling Championship have nailed Etihad Airways (whodefuck?), Guiness (ah yeah that's grand) and RTE (the national broadcaster of course). Etihad Airways?? How many Hurling fans have business traveling to Damascus, Tehran and Khartoum? None I would venture, sure I heard you can't even drink out there...
Aer Arann would have been the obvious choice, with their regular flights from Waterford to Knock et al.
Freeters
In a (not really) suprising incident yesterday, John McCain made repeated claims that Iran was funding Al-Qaeda. It's not exactly a wild statement from a republican to make allegations of "freedom hating" - or freeting as I like to call it - but when you take into account that Iran is primarily a Shiite country and that Al-Qaeda are a Sunni group it's kind of ignorant. Especially seeing as this is a guy who could be representing America on the world stage in 8 months time.
Now John you've got the get the facts right before you start bringing the pain. Plus you're not the president yet, so shut the fuck up and let Bush take care of the gaffes in front of the world media.
UPDATE:
He's been in Israel today, hanging out with Israelis. Referring to Hamas and Hezbollah he said (in a not-too-diplomatic-way) : "They are dedicated to the extinction of everything that the US, Israel and the West believe and stand for." In response the Israeli Foreign Minister Ms. Livni said: "I know that we share the same understanding of the nature of the crisis in the region."
Good to know that they both agree that Hamas and Hezbollah are freeters. Except for their own nation's freedoms which they want, but which are not recognized as they disagree with the main principle of Freetanism: potential freeters don't get to decide which freedoms are right.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
The great battle of morality
In an unending stream of moral-based arguement and ticket-based disappointment, a good friend 'M' has decided to take on the might of an "online ticket broker", or "morally bankrupt cretin" as members of the public like to call them. Said friend wanted to purchase tickets to see Billy Connolly yesterday morning (priced at the princely sum of €55 ex-charges), but TicketBastard had sold out almost instantaneously. By 9:10 am this online scalper www.needaticket.ie was selling them for €140 a piece - nice margins! I guess M has seen the new Rambo movie, because I doubt needaticket were expecting this level of email violence (I definitely didn't expect the retort though) :
Is it just me or have needaticket just used a slang - and absolutely derogatory - phrase for a homosexual? Is it just me or is that conduct umbecoming for a corporate entity? I don't give a shit what language - c**t or otherwise - an individual uses, but a printed comment from the "office" (that's their general opinion folks) of a business that is homophobic and prejudiced is far from acceptable. Kind of like their business practices.
----- Original Message -----From: MSent: Monday, March 10, 2008 2:33 PMSubject: YOU R C***S!!!!
YOU ARE A COMPLETE BUNCH OF ABSOLUTE C***S.----- Original Message -----From: office@needaticket.ieTo: M
Sent: Monday, March 10, 2008 3:50 PMFuck you M you big fat pillow biter.Fuck you M you big fat pillow biter.Get a life----- Original Message -----From: MSent: Monday, March 10, 2008 4:28 PMSubject: Re: YOU R C***S!!!!
I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT I DO IN FACT HAVE A LIFE, BUT DUE TO ABSOLUTE C***S SUCH AS YOURSELVES I AM UNABLE TO DO ALL THE THINGS I WOULD LIKE, I.E. GO TO GIGS, COMEDY SHOWS, CONCERTS ETC. WHICH ARE COSTLY ENOUGH WITHOUT C***S, SUCH AS YOURSELVES TRYING TO FURTHER RIP OFF THE AVERAGE JOE SOAP, SUCH AS MYSELF, BY CHARGING EXTORTIONATE PRICES. YOU HAVE NO MORALS AND ALTHOUGH WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS LEGAL(AND FUCK KNOWS HOW THAT IS) I WOULD LIKE TO STRESS THE FACT THAT YOU ARE THE MOST ANNOYING OF C***S I HAVE COME ACROSS. ENJOY HELL AS THAT IS WHERE YOU ARE GOING TO END UP YOU STUPID C***S.
Is it just me or have needaticket just used a slang - and absolutely derogatory - phrase for a homosexual? Is it just me or is that conduct umbecoming for a corporate entity? I don't give a shit what language - c**t or otherwise - an individual uses, but a printed comment from the "office" (that's their general opinion folks) of a business that is homophobic and prejudiced is far from acceptable. Kind of like their business practices.
I didn't want to get into this
Four major record companies (EMI, Sony BMG, Universal & Warner) have brought a High Court action to compel Eircom to prevent its networks being used for the illegal downloading of music. This is the last desperate sting of a dying wasp. A greedy, uncompromising, and inhumane wasp. I'm going to give my two cents on the supposed reasons that people shouldn't download illegally.
1. It's Illegal
Okay, that is true. But so is withholding royalties, flyposting and price-fixing, and so are payolas. Did illegality stop anyone recording their favourite songs off the radio, or their favourite TV shows/movies off the TV with blank media? Did the MPAA not make the same claim of impending doom when VHS technology came on the market? It is true that there is far more piracy now, but there is also far more content available due to the advent of home recording equipment.
Does it strike you as strange that one of the biggest producers of blank media is Sony (also one of the "Big 4" record companies), when they campaign with wild statistics against the so called robbery of their (not their artists) property? Can corporations like Sony have their cake and eat it too? Yes they can, they always have and they will continue to.
2. It's Immoral
This is where it gets interesting. If we're talking what is immoral here, then so is hiding programmes on CDs that make people's computers vulnerable to viruses, so is bribing radio stations for airplay time, so is withholding legal advice from immature artists, and so is withholding monies from performers. We're not talking about shining lights of morality and righteousness here. I'd say major record labels run a close second only to the petro-chemical industry and the arms manufacturing industry when it comes to a lack of morality.
How can a member of a band (5ive) that sold close to 20 million albums end up working as a postman? Take a look at this example (albeit with roughly drawn figures) to see how it happens.
How can labels through DRM decide that after you have legally purchased an album that you should not make copies or transfer from one device to another? Is it not now your property to do with it as you like? Is it possible to purchase something and not own it?
How come in most cases legal downloads cost as much as hard-copy records when there is no hard-copy and no hard-copy marketing? Is every song on an album really worth 99c?
How can Warner pay it's top five executives over $21million (three times their operating income) in salary and bonuses in the same year that they lay off 1,600 employees and 93 of the 193 artists on their US roster?
I am honestly only scraping the surface of the morality debate here. It's common knowledge that gigging and merchandise is a far more lucrative business for a band than producing an album. There is also a dichotomy where the recent misery of record companies is offset in some part by the explosion of new bands who are home-recording. These bands through the advent of filesharing have found audiences they would never have in the recent past of industry-controlled studios, radio stations and record shops. I believe that this is purely an evolutionary step in the music industry, and that those who do not make the steps to keep up will get left behind. In any industry changes happen and there are re-adjustments - it is the sign of a spoiled and too comfortable industry when instead of remaining dynamic they complain and issue legal challenges. This is the 21st century - the age of digital media - so put your claims of bankruptcy behind you, get with the times, stop ripping people off and drop the calls of immorality. Muppets.
1. It's Illegal
Okay, that is true. But so is withholding royalties, flyposting and price-fixing, and so are payolas. Did illegality stop anyone recording their favourite songs off the radio, or their favourite TV shows/movies off the TV with blank media? Did the MPAA not make the same claim of impending doom when VHS technology came on the market? It is true that there is far more piracy now, but there is also far more content available due to the advent of home recording equipment.
Does it strike you as strange that one of the biggest producers of blank media is Sony (also one of the "Big 4" record companies), when they campaign with wild statistics against the so called robbery of their (not their artists) property? Can corporations like Sony have their cake and eat it too? Yes they can, they always have and they will continue to.
2. It's Immoral
This is where it gets interesting. If we're talking what is immoral here, then so is hiding programmes on CDs that make people's computers vulnerable to viruses, so is bribing radio stations for airplay time, so is withholding legal advice from immature artists, and so is withholding monies from performers. We're not talking about shining lights of morality and righteousness here. I'd say major record labels run a close second only to the petro-chemical industry and the arms manufacturing industry when it comes to a lack of morality.
How can a member of a band (5ive) that sold close to 20 million albums end up working as a postman? Take a look at this example (albeit with roughly drawn figures) to see how it happens.
How can labels through DRM decide that after you have legally purchased an album that you should not make copies or transfer from one device to another? Is it not now your property to do with it as you like? Is it possible to purchase something and not own it?
How come in most cases legal downloads cost as much as hard-copy records when there is no hard-copy and no hard-copy marketing? Is every song on an album really worth 99c?
How can Warner pay it's top five executives over $21million (three times their operating income) in salary and bonuses in the same year that they lay off 1,600 employees and 93 of the 193 artists on their US roster?
I am honestly only scraping the surface of the morality debate here. It's common knowledge that gigging and merchandise is a far more lucrative business for a band than producing an album. There is also a dichotomy where the recent misery of record companies is offset in some part by the explosion of new bands who are home-recording. These bands through the advent of filesharing have found audiences they would never have in the recent past of industry-controlled studios, radio stations and record shops. I believe that this is purely an evolutionary step in the music industry, and that those who do not make the steps to keep up will get left behind. In any industry changes happen and there are re-adjustments - it is the sign of a spoiled and too comfortable industry when instead of remaining dynamic they complain and issue legal challenges. This is the 21st century - the age of digital media - so put your claims of bankruptcy behind you, get with the times, stop ripping people off and drop the calls of immorality. Muppets.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Newsflash: Vatican is "Hip, to it"
And the spot prize for stangest press release of the day (possibly the month) goes to the Catholic Church. In another attempt to seem "hip, to it" or "cool as cats" the Vatican has just published it's list of Seven Dealdy Sins for Today. These new sins which were invented over the weekend are designed to make us realise that "In effect, it is more important than ever to pay attention to your sins" says Monsignor Girotti, who happens to be one of the Pope's right-hand men.
The following sins have been listed as mortal sins, which if not confessed mean "eternal death" (translation: Hell. For Ever.). I'm not kidding, you will burn in the lake of fire for ever if you win the lottery or burn normal coal.
- Genetic modification
- Carrying out experiments on humans
- Polluting the environment
- Causing social injustice
- Causing poverty
- Becoming obscenely wealthy
- Taking drugs
Now I can't say what the drug-taking past is of any of the Vatican's employees, or that they've carried out genetic modifications, but I think if you were to look at the Crusades, Spanish Inquisition and the hoarding of Nazi bullion we've just sentenced most members of the Vatican since 1095 to eternal damnation. Oops.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Wow
Jaysus hasn't the ould national broadcaster come a long way? They're now doing a carbon-copy micro-site of the BBC's 'BBC Food' website, called uniquely enough'RTE Food'. Its great to see Irish cuisine and culture finally getting all the publicity it deserves, and it can't be long now until our penchant for boiling everything into fluid format catches on across the globe. Boiled meat, boiled greens, boiled potatoes, brown bread and a cup of tea. You can check out some of the recipes here:
Forget It
I was going to write a post about who pissed off I am with the inadequacies of our current government with their lack of culpability and the downright Hammer-esque "can't touch this" attitude. Honestly I got so stressed while writing the first paragraph that I had to stop, so here's a different tack :
Vincent Browne: I imagine that right now you're feeling a bit like Alice. Tumbling down the rabbit hole?
Naive member of public: You could say that.
Vincent: I can see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he's expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate?
NMP: No.
Vincent: Why not?
NMP: 'Cause I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.
Vincent: I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know, you can't explain. But you feel it. You felt it your entire life. That there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there. Like a splinter in your mind -- driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?
NMP: Our government?
Vincent: Do you want to know what it is?
[NMP nods his head.]
Miriam: Our government is everywhere, it is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window, or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, or when go to church or when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
NMP: What truth?
Vincent: That you are a slave. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born inside a prison that you cannot smell, taste, or touch. A prison for your mind. [long pause, sighs] Unfortunately, no one can be told what our government is. You have to see it for yourself. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back.
[In his left hand, Vincent shows a blue pill.]
Vincent: You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. [a red pill is shown in his other hand] You take the red pill and you stay in HSE-land and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes. Remember -- all I am offering is the truth, nothing more.
Note: Battles incidentally rock and play Vicar St on May 15th
Vincent Browne: I imagine that right now you're feeling a bit like Alice. Tumbling down the rabbit hole?
Naive member of public: You could say that.
Vincent: I can see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he's expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate?
NMP: No.
Vincent: Why not?
NMP: 'Cause I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.
Vincent: I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know, you can't explain. But you feel it. You felt it your entire life. That there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there. Like a splinter in your mind -- driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?
NMP: Our government?
Vincent: Do you want to know what it is?
[NMP nods his head.]
Miriam: Our government is everywhere, it is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window, or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, or when go to church or when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
NMP: What truth?
Vincent: That you are a slave. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born inside a prison that you cannot smell, taste, or touch. A prison for your mind. [long pause, sighs] Unfortunately, no one can be told what our government is. You have to see it for yourself. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back.
[In his left hand, Vincent shows a blue pill.]
Vincent: You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. [a red pill is shown in his other hand] You take the red pill and you stay in HSE-land and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes. Remember -- all I am offering is the truth, nothing more.
Note: Battles incidentally rock and play Vicar St on May 15th
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
HuckaBYE
It's a lonely place out there with only a camouflaged gun and a handful of delegates for company.
Michael Vick are you watching?
Is this the funniest website that I've seen this year? Probably.
Selected quotes of brilliance:
Even PETA claim that there are over 500 organized canine sport fights across the US on any given day, and that number is growing fast!
Is this serious?
Serious about making money, yes!
Can I get in trouble?
Mostly no, sometimes yes, but for the sake of argument we'll say no.
What happens to the dogs that don't win?
Since 2005 we've participated in an ecologically conscious worldwide effort, by which all athletes, upon retirement, are composted for the greatest good of the communities we serve, as well as the world in which we live in.
Ah the internets has just become a funnier place since the heady trailblazing days of Bonsai Kitten and ManBeef. It's just amazing that people still get caught out by these websites and call the local paper in outrage. Anyone for DIY Lasik Surgery or a Medical Adoption?
Selected quotes of brilliance:
Even PETA claim that there are over 500 organized canine sport fights across the US on any given day, and that number is growing fast!
Is this serious?
Serious about making money, yes!
Can I get in trouble?
Mostly no, sometimes yes, but for the sake of argument we'll say no.
What happens to the dogs that don't win?
Since 2005 we've participated in an ecologically conscious worldwide effort, by which all athletes, upon retirement, are composted for the greatest good of the communities we serve, as well as the world in which we live in.
Ah the internets has just become a funnier place since the heady trailblazing days of Bonsai Kitten and ManBeef. It's just amazing that people still get caught out by these websites and call the local paper in outrage. Anyone for DIY Lasik Surgery or a Medical Adoption?
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