Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Rudy: A Brief Electoral History

"I'll see your sick Mormon ass in Florida - I'm gonna tear you apart like a 'gator. Rrrrraaaarrr. Like a gator with claws!"

"Hey what's that - New Hampshire?? Is that another state?"


"Oh you're fucking kidding me, there are more than two states?"


"I swear I was this close to losing to Huckabee. Mike Huckabee.I am so done."


Fin

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Unbelievable

Unbloodybelievable. The Sunday Business Post today published a poll in which 54% of those polled said they did not believe Bertie Ahern's tribunal ramblings. I'm amazed. I'm amazed that 46% of those polled believed him. How crazy does his explanations have to get before people finally click that he's a lying snake? "Well no, that money is actually a transient shape-shifting being that intermittently appears in my account with no record of how it gets there or where it goes." We've got to be so close to a "Few Good Men" style showdown next month, with truth-handling allegations being thrown back and forth between Bertie and Des O'Neill. Wouldn't you be foaming at the mouth if you were O'Neill and you were that close to nailing the slippery eel but he kept on getting away?

Anyway it's obviously not as important as news that Guns N Roses' "Chinese Democracy" album is finished. Done. Ready for release in mid 2008. This rumour (Amazon has been doing pre-orders since 2002!) has circulated many times before but apparently this really is it. Its taken an incredible 16 years for what will surely be one of the most eagerly anticipated albums of all time, maybe even more than Ace of Base's follow up to The Sign (which incidentally went Diamond: Platinum x10). In order to not be the thing which turns Axl Rose into the first Vanilla Ice of the 21st century it's going to have to be well, the greatest rock album of all time. No pressure so. The thing I'm wondering though is does this man look like he could be behind it? He's gone a bit sunburnt Dennis Quaid meets a white Jesse Jackson...


UPDATE: Hear the new leaked track 'Better' here

Friday, January 25, 2008

Good riddance to bad rednecks

Fred Thompson (yes that Fred Thompson of Law & Order: Which Franchise now?) has officially pulled out of the race for the Republican nomination for the race for the president of the United States. A lot of racing, and a lot of people looking out of breath already - Mike Puffabee not exempt from poor punnage here either.

Anyway I think it's great that people have realized that he's a turd. The self-styled 21st century Reagan was viewed in some polls as the most conservative of the Republican candidates, with Rudy Giuliani was being viewed as the most liberal (liberal as in one his policies being the construction of a fence between the US and Mexico) - quite the achievement when you consider that scale. His more constructive policies included:

- continuing US mission in Iraq as it is central to war on "Islamo-terrorism"
- greatly expanding the US military
- reducing social scurity benefits
- opposing national healthcare
- making English the official language of the US
- opposing mandatory higher fuel efficiency standards
- doing "more research to determine human impact on global warming" as it would be economically unfeasible for the US to adopt global warming restrictions

Quite the philanthropist. And the character actor. And the loser.

Goodbye Fred, enjoy relative obscurity...


P.S. OK I'll admit that I did add the Godfather 2 style shading on the campaign picture, but you can't deny that he's a total ringer for Count Vigo from Ghostbusters II:




Tuesday, January 22, 2008

NATIONAL IMPORTANCE

Get up off your arses - if there's only one thing that you have to do this year, it's vote for your capital city to be on the new international monopoly. What could be worse than seeing some shitbox like Brussels on the board, and not Dublin? Well Liege could be worse, because it's officially the crappiest, most run down kip I've ever had the misfortune to drive through. If you don't believe me look at the tourist attracttions. Some steps, a deformed puppet that would haunt a child's dreams for years and a coal mine that isn't even in the poxy town. Rubbish.

VOTE. DO IT.

oops

Ahem. Quite the hiatus there. So it's been a while since I posted, and not a whole lot has happened.

Obama became the "next president of the USA". Then McCain did. And probably Hillary will.

Kenny Dalglish became the "next Ireland manager". The Houllier did. Then Keegan did. And probably Ronnie Whelan will.

Blue Monday "happened" yesterday. Then it was fine today.

Britney went completely mental. Then even more mental. And probably will go even more mental.

But most importantly, this happened. If you haven't been following the whole Steorn story and/or are unfamiliar with the overunity concept I'd advise maybe doing a little bit of reading before you go "It's a wheel. Cool. Who gives a shit?" If you still think it's boring however, maybe this is more up your alley....