Say it with authority and no one will doubt it.

It's true, most facts are just bullshit disguised with an authorative tone. I do it all the time. However you don't expect the website of the Taoiseach's office to come up with bullshit like this:

(From the "Did you know..." section of www.taoiseach.gov.ie's Youth Zone):

26. Michael Collins was the first Irishman in space, he remained in lunar orbit while his Apollo 11 colleagues, Edwin Aldrin and Neil Armstrong walked on the moon( 21st July 1969)

How exactly was he Irish bar the obvious name? Born in Italy and (according to his wikipedia entry) "during the 17 years in which Michael Collins lived at home, he would call Rome, Oklahoma, Governors Island, Puerto Rico and Alexandria, Virginia home."

It's a stretch too far, not exactly the granny rule is it?

OK so it's been around for a while but it is pretty funny...

Too Super Cool For His Ticket - Watch more free videos

Don't want my money? Fine.

I need to ring Revenue, because I apparently owe them tax from 2006. I call the Collector General's number, and go through three or four automated menus until I hear this tiny, weak voice of an old lady on the end of the phone:

"We are sorry for the inconvenience but all of our lines are busy. Please ring back later."

Honestly she sounded like she was a relic from the famine era, holed up in a tiny cottage on Inisbofin. Irrespective of the ghost of Ireland past on the phone, the question has to be asked: why don't have a queing system? A call back system? A voicemail system? They do have a voice recognition system that can understand you on the first go, unlike the Eircom "Sorry, I didn't get that" guys chummy answer to everything you say; but you've to hang up if all of the phonejockeys are busy?

Fine. I'll keep my money so.

Straight Talk Express

John McCain's "Straight Talk Express" (I can't help but think of Thomas the Tank Engine) tells it like it is. I do believe however that his campaign website is a bit watery, so I've re-done some of the text to give it a bit more presence, or POW-style attitude. "Fuck you voters, follow me or die", he should be seen to say.

4 Years and 49 Weeks On: John McCain is still a Fucktard

Following on from today's 5 year anniversary celebrations, it seems that just three weeks after Bush & Co declared "mission accomplished", John "Bush 3.0" McCain proclaimed a "massive victory" in Afghanistan and Iraq.

"Readiness" seems to be the key here. The Straight Talk Express is fuelled by horseshit.

5 Years On: Iraq at Peace and Prospering

It was this day 5 years ago that George W. Bush declared that "major combat operations in Iraq have ended" infront of a giant 'Mission Accomplished' banner onboard the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln. Since that memorable day's historic declaration of victory, both peace and progressive democratic insitutions are the order of the day in Iraq instead of a man with a questionable sense of fashion and a penchant for weapons of mass destruction. Let's look at some fun facts in support of the post-war "operations":

• Now in it's sixth year, onlyVietnam, Afghanistan and the Revolutionary War have engaged America for longer periods. If we keep the chins up and the focus focused we will outpass both Vietnam and the Revolutionary War in the next 12 months. Awesome!
• Only 4,061 American soldiers have died - if you compare that with how many people die from smoking in America each year you'll see it's a insignificant number and not really as as important as it's made out to be by headline grabbing, leftist media like the New York Times.
  
• With the recent interest rate cuts from the Fed it's a great time to increase military spending as borrowing is now cheaper than ever.
  
• Iraq is one of the few places on this great earth's surface where you can guarantee year-round sun. Think of all the troublesome teenagers who were sent away to Iraq to learn life skills like submission/anger/tidiness/shoe polishing with the army, all the time while picking up a great tan and learning to fire high powered assault rifles. Would you prefer them to be shooting you instead some potential terrorist?

Think about it. I know Rumsfeld did.