Ah Noel, you didn't...

Not much to say here as we are all aware of poor oul' Noel's shortcomings as a minister. Sure wasn't it he - who as Minister for Communications - when criticized over broadband rollout was heard to say "I am concerned that some commentators overplay the so-called 'broadband failure' in Ireland. They risk unnecessarily damaging Ireland's international reputation."

No you idiotic fucktard, it's you and your half-witted cronies who are unnecessarily damaging Ireland's international reputation; well at least whats left of it after Bertie wore those yellow trousers to a G8 summit.

governMENTAL

I've got to hand it to Bertie and the lads as things must be going better than the economists, media and well, most people with a wallet think. Why else would they accept large pay increases during an economic slowdown?

Honestly they sound like a fucking Loreal ad, I heard Noel Dempsey on the radio this morning saying that because it was an independent body's recommendation that they had to accept it. What about all the other recommendations from independent bodies that they ignored and are gathering dust or being used as kindling for next weeks bonfires?

And our great leader "the innocent" kept on saying how their salaries are benchmarked against the private sector. Well why in the fuck is his performance not? He wouldn't last two hours as an office temp if he was. He now gets paid more than Gordon Brown and George Bush, and his answer to that tidbid was that "well, I dont ge eh, a eh, number den or a white house or anytin, not dat I'd like a white house anyway". Yeah well you don't get a population of 300 million and a huge army to preside over either thank fuck. It's galling to think at a time when this government are closing down hospital wards and warning people about overspending (how ironic) they're happy to turn around and grab grab grab like grinning little Shylocks.

It's reassuring to know however that he does now posess a bank account - he'd have a hard time stuffing that wad into a sock.

It wasn't the Ma after all...

Well they shouldn't have any problems finding this weird looking fuck - he has no face. A bit like The Blank in Dick Tracy. At least both commissioned drawings from professional, "forensic artists" agree on this unfortunate birthmark.













Yes in the five months since the "face" sketch (right) was published, all we have ascertained is that the abductor had a body, and posessed a pair of chinos. Why don't we question every male over the age of 35 who's ever shopped at Dunnes Stores?

Sorry, I can't hear your accordion

Went to see Arcade Fire last night at the Big Top in the Phoeno. Was well stoked at the idea, seeing as I was one of the gobshites who went to Electric Picnic 2005 (widely touted as one of the finest live performances this country has ever seen) and didn't actually see them. That tends to happen to me a lot - I went to this years EP and missed Primal Scream, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and various other bands on my wishlist. I suppose there's something about rain and fields that makes best laid plans go out the tent window.

You can't fault Arcade Fire for my lack of post-show enthusiasm as they ripped up the stage, giving it socks from the off. The issue was the dirty big rubber tent that looked like something Fossett's would use if they were based out of Vegas and not poxy Mallow. I understand that trying to make a 10-piece band sound good under a bouncy castle's roof has it's difficulties, but thats what you pay €50 a ticket for isn't it? Also this was the second night that Arcade Fire played in the converted hot-air balloon - surely some lessons were learned from the previous nights guinea pigs? No, not fucking likely. I could have wrapped an argyle sweater around my head and it wouldn't have been any more muffled. I felt like a Barbara Streisand fan circa July 2007. Irked - time to ring Joe.

A side heckle is definitely the inability to purchase anythingthat wasn't Becks, "red wine", "white wine", or Abra. Yeah Abra doing outside catering, classic. Can just imagine the corporate bashes they cater for...

1-18-08

Oh who the fuck cares anymore? I'll admit that it was vaguely interesting at first, what with the whole viral marketing thing, but there's some daft bint in New York who has triangulated the location of the apartment in the trailer. What she didn't realise was that they actually shot the scene in New York, therefore the her mapquest/orienteering skills were wholly unecessary. All she had to do was look in Variety, or take a walk down the street (she lives in the neighbourhood) to see what all the fuss was. Probably unemployed.

Apparently the movie's had so much online publicity that JJ Abrams has re-written most of the movie a few times over. Makes me think it was originally going to be shit, and now will be even worse due to a rushed re-write. He's turned into another M Shite Naliyaman, all turkey and no stuffing. What does M Night stand for anyway: Michael Night?

Kit lover.